Getting The Word Out
It's hard to know which tact to take, the hard or the soft sell. I've tried to read the crowd, sometimes successfully, sometimes I guess I've pressed a bit too hard.

Formal invitations seem...too formal for this joint(thanks Rancelot-can't really call it a dive anymore). There is one exception however, the celebrity known as Rance.

A-lister or not, Rance is a bloggin' superstar. His appearance at the Grand Opening of The Nut House would garner more attention than a truckload of kleig lights.

"But chinq" you say..."Rance must get dozens of invitations, why would he show up at The Nut House?" Well, I've been looking around L.A., and celebs seem to like investing in local restaurants,clubs and movie theaters. Maybe it's vanity, maybe a tax shelter, I don't know. But it's the tactic I'm taking with Rance.

The following is a draft of my business proposal to Rance. Any input would be appreciated, but I need to get this to him on Wednesday, 7/7/04.


Chinquapin
The Nut House


Rance
http://captainhoof.tripod.com/blog/


Rance,

Post this or not, the following is a business proposal, asking only your time and your smile(that is if your mom hasn't knocked your front teeth out for back talkin' her).

I am not a lawyer, so please excuse the plain English.

I've recently opened a new blog-joint, The Nut House. The Grand Opening will be Bastille Day weekend(July 14-18). I know your time is valuable, so here's the proposition. In exchange for a brief appearance, a few words, and a smile(or not), a cold Bud and a plate of the finest shrimp on the California coast is yours.

The Nut House is open, but currently under renovation. Please drop by and take a look, no commitment necessary. The food service license hasn't come through yet, so just nuts, pretzels and other muchies for now. If you like what you see, we can discuss investment options. Otherwise, come by, have a drink, and enjoy.

Chinquapin

P.S. to the A.S.
Any or all of you are welcome at The Nut House in any capacity. 1st drink on the house!


Comments?

Chinquapin

What a drag it is getting old(Happy 4th of July)
Many celebrate July 4th as the birthday of the USA. I look at it as the anniversary of the conception of the USA. The birth taking place in Paris in 1783.

Either way, the holiday marks a passage of time. And that, my friends, has long been a no-no in tinsel town. And thanks to Extreme Makeover, The Swan, various cosmetic companies and the American Society of Plastic Surgeons and the American Board of P.S.(other countries names may be substituted for "American"), the apperance of aging is becoming a no-no all over the "civilized" world.

OK, here's the point(in a round about way, of course). I was talking to my mom on the phone Saturday. She's in a fly-over state, unless you're running for President. She's retired, and she and her friends have really gotten into community volunteering. One of her friends(lets call her Joan) visits what used to be called a resthome. Joan hadn't been in for a while, and one of the women she regularly visits wouldn't lift her head up. The staff told Joan that the woman had been in this position for a few days. Joan sat down and tried to talk to the woman, and upon lifting her head, discovered that the poor woman had grown a small beard and mustache. Joan told the staff to help the woman keep herself groomed, and on the next visit, the woman had her head up.

We all should have some pride in our apperance, but looking our best has nothing to do with looking young, or looking "done".

And so, to mark the passage of 228 years, Happy Conception Anniversary USA!!! I raise my glass to you!(She's looked better, but she's ready for a comeback.)

Chinquapin

It's about time!
While running around Friday, looking for "bar fixtures", I ran across a cute store in Larchmont Village selling Historical Action figures. I don't know how long these have been around, but it was the 1st time I'd seen or heard of them.

Take a look at them here(visual aid only, I am not promoting this website):
http://www.entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?number=AU11316

Screw Spiderman, I want Einstein.

Got to go pick up Mr. Man at the Burbank -oops, I mean Bob Hope Airport. Do you think the FAA changed the Airport code from BUR to BOB?

Chinquapin

Good-bye Mr. B
When I turned on the TV this morning and saw the clip of "A Streetcar Named Desire", I was pretty sure Marlon Brando was dead. It could have been Malden, but I'd just heard something about Brando's health, so I was almost certain it was the Big Man.

While the news chopper hovered over his estate off of Mulholland, the reporter mentioned numerous times Mr. Brando's desire for privacy/seclusion.

This afternoon, while shopping for "bar furnishings", I walked past an actress/wife of a sports celeb loading her baby into the carseat of her new Rover. Earlier, I'd practically rubbed elbows(OK-overheard a lengthy cell conversation) with an actor/husband of an actress/business owner. (If you haven't noticed, I prefer backslashes to hyphens.)
That got me thinking, if I manage to get some celeb(s) to show up at the Grand Opening of The Nut House(July 14-18), I should give the non-celeb guests a heads-up on "How To Behave Around A Celebrity".

A little background for those from non-celebrity centers of the world. My first "real" celeb sighting was in Los Angeles, it was Gene Hackman. He was standing on one of those parking lot concrete curb/planters in a lot shared by a bank, a multiplex, and an office building... in the San Fernando Valley! For those of you not familiar with the snobbery aimed at "The Valley" by those over the hill(B.H. WestHolly, the Westside...the list goes on), if you saw the "Sex and the City" ep. when Miranda tells the girls she's moving to Brooklyn, that's about right.

Anyway, back to behavior in proximity to celebrities. The following is only applicable when said celebrity is NOT working, work including PR/Promotion.

I must give proper credit to my(oops, there's that possessive word again)man. He came up with the M.O. while shooting low budget movies with lots of gratuitous nudity(boobs). We are not talking pornos, we are talking super low budget...mostly schlock. After a couple of these shoots, Mr. Man realised that he reacted to these topless women the same way he'd reacted to people with a physical handicap. They are extremely hard to ignore, but you try not to stare. Eventually, if you are a well adjusted adult, you get used to the boobs, the wheelchair, the missing limbs...or the celebrity.

The topless woman, amputee, or celeb may be having a bad day. Try to read his/her body language and use some common sense before approaching. In other words...BE COOL.

Imagine you are sitting down to a quiet dinner and the telemarketer calls(God I love the "Do not call" list).
Or you're taking your kid to the park and an un-named proselytizing religious organization's representative targets the two of you.
Or that the annoying/somewhat scary person at work gets up to get coffee everytime you get a refill.

Let's try not frighten or piss off our celebrity friends at The Nut House.

RIP Mr. B.

Chinquapin

Caution: Hard Hat Zone
Well, looks like The Nut House isn't gonna be as "divey" as originally planned. The Health Dept. is making me strip the entire interior. Seems there's mold throughout the place, guess that's why it was such a deal.

So, I've got to choose a new interior on top of everything else, any suggestions? I'm not putting a ton of money into a place that might get busted up on a regular basis. I thought about tileing the walls so I could just hose the place down every morning, but the noise level would be deafening. Vinyl & formica? I could cover the walls with vinyl, would they get sweaty? Does anyone have any experience with that(S&M chamber maybe)? I'll drop by F&S today and get some swatches.

If you drop buy & I'm out, there's a cooler on the back deck with some beer, just keep the cooler in the shade and don't take open cans off the property(the neighbors are already a little pissy about the construction noise).

Inga, sorry we missed Midsommer. I'll make sure we have little Swedish toothpick flags for next year.

Oh...I need a drink for Bastille Day. It could be an actual French drink, or a French themed drink(nothing insulting, we are aiming for world unity). For example, green beer isn't really Irish but Irish themed -kinda. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Gotta go look at juke boxes now.

Chinquapin

Under Construction
Welcome to The Nut House.

After scanning the Tripod/Lycos R&R page, I feel I must state that there will(hopefully)be massive roleplaying on this blog.

Dearest Tripod/Lycos,

Chinquapin will participate in none of the following at The Nut House:
1. Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any Content, or select any member or user name or email address, that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, pornographic, libelous, invasive of privacy or publicity rights, hateful, or racially, sexually, ethnically or otherwise objectionable.
2. Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any Content that promotes illegal activity, including without limitation the provision of instructions for illegal activity.
3. Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any Content that exploits the images of children under 18 years of age, or that discloses personally identifying information belonging to children under 18 years of age.
4. Harm minors in any other way.
5. Make any sexual request on behalf of a minor or make any sexual request of a minor.
6. "Stalk" or otherwise harass another.
7. Collect or store personally identifying information about other users for commercial or unlawful purposes.
8. Impersonate any person or entity, including, but not limited to, a Lycos Network official, employee, forum leader, guide or host, or falsely state or otherwise misrepresent your affiliation with a person or entity.
9. Employ misleading email addresses or falsify information in the header, footer, return path, or any part of any communication, including emails, transmitted through the Products and Services.
10. Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any Content that you do not have a right to transmit under any law or regulation or under contractual or fiduciary relationships (such as inside information, or proprietary and confidential information learned or disclosed as part of employment relationships or under nondisclosure agreements).
11. Upload, post, email, or otherwise transmit, or post links to any Content that facilitates hacking.
12. Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any Content that infringes any patent, trademark, service mark, trade secret, copyright or other proprietary rights ("Rights") of any party, or contributing to inducing or facilitating such infringement. This prohibition shall include, without limitation, the following forms of software piracy:
1. Making available copyrighted software or other Content that has had the copyright protection removed.
2. Making available serial numbers for software that can be used to illegally validate or register software.
3. Making available tools that can be used for no purpose other than for "cracking" software or other copyrighted Content.
4. Making available any software files for which the user does not own the copyright or have the legal right to make available.
13. Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any unsolicited or unauthorized advertising, promotional materials, "junk mail," "spam," "chain letters," "pyramid schemes," or any other form of solicitation, except in those areas that are designated for such purpose.
14. Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any material that contains software viruses, worms, trojan horses, time bombs, trap doors or any other computer code, files or programs or repetitive requests for information designed to interrupt, destroy or limit the functionality of any computer software or hardware or telecommunications equipment or to diminish the quality of, interfere with the performance of, or impair the functionality of the Products and Services or the Lycos Network.
15. Use automated means, including additional computers, software and scripts, to enhance play in Lycos Network games and promotions.
16. Use automated means, including spiders, robots, crawlers, or the like to download data from any Lycos Network database.
17. Conduct your own contests and promotions.
18. Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any Content regarding any raffle, contest or game requiring a fee by participants.
19. Modify, publish, transmit, transfer or sell, reproduce, create derivative works from, distribute, perform, link, display or in any way exploit any Content from any Lycos database, including, without limitation, by incorporating data from any Lycos database into any e-mail or "white pages" products or serviced, whether browser-based, based on proprietary client-site applications, web-based, or otherwise.
20. Sell, distribute, or make any commercial use of data obtained from any Lycos database or make any other use of data from any Lycos database in a manner which could be expected to offend the person for whom the data is relevant.
21. Create and maintain a Lycos Network web page (including, but not limited to, an Angelfire or Tripod home page) that (i) redirects to another web page or (ii) stores or hosts content for remote loading by other web pages. For example, you cannot create a Tripod home page, post pictures to the Tripod home page, and have other web pages call the Tripod home page page to retrieve those pictures.
22. Create and maintain a Lycos Network web page that contains hyperlinks to content not permitted on the Lycos Network.
23. Disrupt the normal flow of dialogue in a chat room, cause a screen to "scroll" faster than other users of the Products and Services are able to type, or otherwise act in a manner that negatively affects other users' ability to engage in real time exchanges.
24. Interfere with or disrupt the Products and Services or servers or networks connected to the Products and Services, or disobey any requirements, procedures, policies or regulations of networks connected to the Products and Services.
25. Intentionally or unintentionally violate any applicable local, state, national or international law, including, but not limited to, regulations promulgated by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, any rules of any national or other securities exchange, including, without limitation, the New York Stock Exchange, the American Stock Exchange or the NASDAQ, and any regulations having the force of law.
26. Use the Products or Services to sell, purchase, or offer to sell or purchase any registered or unregistered securities.
27. Upload, post, email, otherwise transmit, or post links to any material that is false, misleading, or designed to manipulate any equity, security, or other market.
28. Disobey any Lycos employee or representative or interfere with any action by any Lycos employee or representative to redress any violation of these Terms and Conditions.

I see nothing about Happy Hour-thank God.

I'll be signing contracts, applying for licenses, interviewing help before the holiday weekend(U.S. Independence Day). With any luck, we'll have the grand opening for The Nut House on Bastille Day weekend(July 14-18).

One of the goals of The Nut House is to establish as many international drinking holidays as possible. We Americans(isn't nice we citizens of the USA are so inclusive of an entire hemisphere) have embraced Cinco de Mayo and St. Patrick's Day, and that leads me to believe the 1st step to a true global village is to establish drinking holidays representing all the cultures of the world(play "We Are The World" or "It's A Small World" here).

Gotta go pick out some neon, Oh-Happy Canada Day!

Chinquapin